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Chapter 1

Isaac Newton Stine was running as fast as he could go. It was a hot summers day in the middle of July and Isaac going to Norway on flight 37 for some computer exposition, though at the rate he was going, he'd never get there. You see, first he had to finish an upgrade for some new fangled thing at work that would be downsized soon. Second he had to get some people to test it while he was away. Third, someone completely and irrevocably erased everything on their hard drive so he had to get it working again. Fourth, he had to find his airline ticket. Fifth, he had to find his passport. Sixth he had to get to the airport which took only two hours longer than the four hours it took to find his ticket and passport. The only redeeming quality to all this was that he did not have to look for someone to watch the pets he did not have.

When he finally got to the airport the plane should have already left fifteen minutes before but, of course, flight 37 was waiting for its pilot.


As Isaac was running to catch his plane a lady by the name of Joy Swinedle Zot was sitting in a coffee shop across from the entrance to the plane that was going to be flying flight 37. As she was sitting there eating a doughnut and wondering if there was some twisted chaotic mathematical theory behind the departure time of planes, she saw a thin man around five foot seven inches with green eyes and blond hair run down the hall and into the entrance to the plane that was going to fly flight 37.

A few minutes later as a theory was forming in her mind that seemed to say that planes never leave the runway, a man that was five foot nine had dark hair and blue eyes and was dressed amazingly like a pilot walked very nonchalantly on board. A moment later the intercom came on and said, "We now have the pilot aboard for flight 37." A pause. "This is the sixteenth last boarding call for flight 37."

All of a sudden, Joy realized that she was supposed to be on flight 37. Then another moment later she realized that she was a hostess on flight 37. "However we are missing hostess Miss Joy Zot." Hastily, or a little faster than hastily, Joy shoved the doughnut in her mouth, got up, knocked over the table, picked up the table, paid her bill, knocked over another table, picked up the table, left as fast as she could, and ran onto the plane that was to fly flight 37. After a moment the intercom came back on, "All the staff are now aboard flight 37. This is the seventeenth last call for flight 37 and is hopefully the last last call for flight 37."

At that moment three things happened. First, the plane pulled away and began to taxi. Second, something that looked like a very haggard man in his thirties, walked down the walk way towards the plane. However the plane had pulled away and he fell twenty feet and landed on his head. So he got back up, jumped onto a wheel of the plane and went up with the landing gear. No one thought this strange, partially because no one saw it happen. Why did no one see it happen? Because the third thing that happed was a man that ran through the terminal with a gag in his mouth and nothing on but his shorts.